My Spouse Is Not Acting Normally After I Cheated And Had An Affair

Most of the time, the people who post on my blog looking for advice or who just for someone to listen are the spouses who were cheated on. Occasionally though, I hear from cheating spouses who are looking for help in saving their marriages or in helping their faithful spouse to heal. Sometimes though, the process is much harder than they ever would have imagined because of their spouse’s troubling reactions or behavior.

I heard from a husband who said: “I admit that I had an affair and cheated on my wife. In that aspect, I am the bad guy of the story. I would be willing to do almost anything to make this up to my wife and save my marriage. But, as patient as I try to be, my wife has become almost impossible to live with. She is filled with bitterness and she is so sarcastic and nasty that even our kids know that something is drastically wrong with her. She’s lashing out at anyone and anything in her path. And the second I walk in the door, she will ask who I cheated with today or what I’ve done to destroy her within the last 48 hours. I’m left not knowing how to respond to these things. When I answer with reassurances that I love her and that I am not trying to destroy her life, she will say things like ‘well that wasn’t the case when you will with that tramp in a hotel.’ She says these things in front of our kids and she slams doors and marches around our house. Once, she threw a plate at me when I asked her what was for dinner. The other night after one of her tirades, I told her that she was acting a bit erratic and crazy. Her response to me was ‘well I have a right to be crazy. You cheated on me. You betrayed me. It is my right to be crazy. And if you don’t like crazy, then feel free to leave.’ Is she right? Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life? What about my kids? Will she always be like this?”

I really felt for this husband, but it was very interesting for me to see this from another point of view. Because frankly, I am…

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